“Waiter … Check please!”
Too often in the midst of a first date, you know, somewhere between the hour-long conversation about their ex and food stuck in their teeth; this request occurs sooner than anticipated.
After five years of working as a waitress and bartender, I have seen countless first dates play out before me. I can usually tell how they are going to
Dating is rough and if, like me you are a student that works, the last thing you want to do is waste your one available weeknight starring in an episode of “The Bachelor.” And I don’t mean the fairy-tale episodes, I mean one of the audience-is-feeling-awful-that-this-is being-televised kind of episodes.
As a public service, allow me to give you some insight into the aspects of life that is not offered as a three-unit course at City College.
Ladies: First and foremost, keep your expectations low. This is a get-acquainted chat, not a planning session about how many children you’re going to have together.
Another thing I recommend keeping low, your shoes.
The heels may look fabulous in the mirror, but remember, you have to hold your composure in them all night. Still convinced you’re up for the challenge? So be it, but keep this story in mind.
Leaving work one evening a man and woman exited behind me. The woman proceeded to trip in her four-inch platforms and fell. I did, however, have to give it to her for what she managed to say, “Look, I am already falling for you.”
That leads me to my next tip: Don’t fall head over heels right away (pun intended).
Men need intrigue. If there is one thing that causes a guy to take a bathroom break that lasts, well, forever, it’s planning the wedding before desert has even arrived.
And while I am on the topic of food, don’t plan the date at that extremely expensive restaurant. Do you really think anyone can afford lobster in this economy?
OK, gentlemen, you got a call back from that lady you just met. Now it’s time for the date that will either open or close the door on a potential relationship. For starters, do just that. Open the door. The little things go a long way with woman.
Don’t spend the date on your cell phone. If you want to spend the evening with Instagram or Angry Birds, I suggest staying at home.
Finally, guys, stay clear of the archetypes, the idiosyncrasies women fear and complain to their friends about. These include the narcissist, the playboy, the “bad boy,” and on the other side of the spectrum, the “nice guy” (stay out of that friend zone fellas).
Most importantly, and this applies to both sexes, remember that dating guidelines are just that, guidelines. Don’t play too much of any role. Be yourself. When you can get to a point where you’re both comfortable, the do’s and don’ts do not apply, and you won’t frantically be calling for the waiter.
