Tristan Hartley will never forget attending a Transgender Day of Remembrance event in 2018, commemorating transgender individuals who were victims of violent crimes that year.
That was the first time he saw his partner of three years, Deja.
“I saw Deja, this beautiful human, just turn around,” Tristan said, “and I remember my soul being like ‘this person is important.’”
At that time, Deja and Tristan were both in the process of transitioning, going through medical visits and therapy, though the process was a different journey for each of them.
Now, Tristan, a mental health counselor at San Diego City College, and Deja Hartley, a community organizer and drag performer, are coming together for a second time to bring transgender visibility to City.
City will be hosting the second annual Trans Excellence Drag Show in honor of International Transgender Day of Visibility in the campus’s Black Box Theatre on April 3 from noon to 3 p.m.
View the gallery of images from last year’s show below.
The show, which will include performances by Hartley as Deja Re along with Madame Brazil, Strawberry Corncakes and Jamie Arangure, is designed to bring awareness in a fun environment.
“There’s not a lot of places where we can be social, where we can have dances or get-togethers or barbecues,” Deja said. “For me, it’s creating those types of spaces and uplifting trans joy in that way.”
Finding safe spaces has been a challenge Tristan and Deja have faced. The two joined a young professionals academy soon after their meeting, where they were two of five transgender individuals in a class of around 25 students.
This academy was where Tristan and Deja’s friendship developed more deeply.
“Tristan and I, and the three other trans folks (in the course), kind of just developed this really close tight-knit friendship,” Deja recalled. “Trying to establish ourselves as transgender professionals, while also transitioning, our bond just became closer after that.”
Tristan explained that having transgender support meant being able to authentically be himself with someone with similar experiences who could understand him.
“That’s how we met and have kind of continued,” Tristan said. “It’s because we just support each other.”
Deja is a proud activist and advocate for The San Diego LGBT Community Center, where she works on sexual health programs, services, and activities to serve the local LGBTQIA+ community, according to the San Diego County Commission On The Status of Women & Girls.
“I’m so lucky and fortunate to still be able to do those things,” Deja said. “I like to use my talents to bring people together, bringing joy to the trans community.”
Separately the pair are very passionate individuals, but they come together to make an impact.
“We rely on each other to make changes for the greater good,” Tristan said. “That can sometimes be very exhausting. It’s nice to have a person who is on that similar path.”
