I’ve been thinking about people’s perspectives. We make judgments about people which influences our perception and can create a fabricated reality. We make judgements on people whether we’re aware of it or not. I’m not a psychologist, but it’s not like this fact is hidden in the woodwork.
We may walk by a person and think: “I like her shoes, they’re cute” or “he didn’t smile, his name must be Dick”. We judge people on how they dress or what they wear and I think that’s why so many people love Halloween. For one day you can say “F-it… I’m going to dress like a sexy kitten.”
If you’re one of those extroverted people that doesn’t really care what anyone thinks, then kudos to you. I personally find the whole judging thing annoying. That’s probably why I’m writing about it, but, I do it too.
Last week I went to a convention and one of the guests speakers announced she was a childhood actress. I immediately thought Lindsay Lohan number 2. As she talked about being scrutinized by the media I realized that some reflection and self-awareness can do everyone around us some good.
What troubles me is when people act on their judgements, without fully understanding or thinking about the other side. That’s what seems to be happening a lot lately around campus.
Asking the important questions about the other party before acting on ones initial impressions or trying to see the other side is an important factor in co-existing with people.
While reading “Psychology Today” I stumbled upon an interesting article on how people perceive you and you perceive yourself. The article, “Mixed Signals,” by Sam Gosling, talks a little about how self-awareness can prevent a lot of misunderstanding.
According to Gosling “How we understand ourselves has a profound impact on our ability to navigate the social realm. In some areas, we know ourselves better then others do. But in other areas, we’re so biases by our need to see ourselves in a good light that we becomes strangers to ourselves. By soliciting feedback from other people, we can learn more about ourselves and how we’re coming off. Only by understating how we’re seen can we make sure we’re sending the right signals. To be understood by others, in other words, the first step is understanding ourselves.”
The passage from this article made me think a lot about certain events unfolding on campus and I think it would be beneficial for everyone to read.
People will paint a perception of you and sometimes there’s nothing you can do to change it. The only thing you can do is accept that fact and move on with your life. People may judge you, but at least you know who you are, and that’s what’s important. Maybe one day they’ll see things differently, but for some that day may never come.
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My own perspectives on “Mixed Signals”
November 10, 2009
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