Every year around fall, there’s an orange-eyed monster that rears its ugly head. It makes girls in Uggs scream with glee as they rush into Starbucks with Instagram ready to go on their iPhones and a Taylor Swift song playing in their heads. That monster? Pumpkin spice.
Pumpkin spice isn’t that great. In fact, it’s one of the most overrated things to ever exist in the 2000s. America’s obsession with this came about mostly due to the rise of Starbucks and their 2003 creation the Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Ever since then people’s obsession with the seasonal spice grew and it got to the point where people counted down the arrival like it was the “New Year’s Rocking Eve.”
Since Starbucks’ success with the latte, other companies have jumped on the proverbial pumpkin spice wagon hoping to capitalize on the over hyped flavor of the season.
The amounts of unnecessary pumpkin spice products that exist are completely and utterly ridiculous. There’s pumpkin spice hummus, pumpkin spice milk and soy milk, pumpkin spice butter, Oreo’s, nail polish, chewing gum, bar soap, body wash, dog treats, Toll House Chips, the list goes on and on and on.
A couple of the more ridiculous items that exist is pumpkin spice flavored alcohol; so people everywhere can have that nice fall-time holiday feeling while being wasted and hurling their brains out.
Browsing through websites like Pinterest reveals a plethora of random and unnecessary pumpkin spice related posts including a shirt that says, “Pumpkin spice is the bae.” What does that even mean? How can a seasonal spice product be your significant other and more importantly why would anyone want to wear and be seen in something that?
Then there’s the official Pumpkin Spice Latte Twitter account, which actually exists for some reason. Posts on the site include pictures and videos of the infamous latte in lederhosen, a tuxedo and an embroidered robe with “PSL” on the right side. What is the point of any of that? It’s an overrated latte with a laundry list of ingredients that doesn’t even include any pumpkin.
Instagram users aren’t immune to this craze either; in fact, the hashtag pumpkin spice became one of the apps most popular hashtags faster than the leaves can change color. Users on Twitter have posted things like “Pumpkin spice is like bae” and “when Starbucks hands me my PSL I imagine the look on my face to look like when the groom sees his bride for the first time.”
Again, what does any of that even mean? What groom would stare at his bride like she was a cup of seasonal coffee? If he does then it’s time to invest in a new groom and probably some spell and grammar check too.
So next time that pumpkin spice urge hits, put down the iPhone, don’t post that “artsy” picture of a Starbucks cup with only hashtags in the description or invest in ridiculous some pumpkin spice flavored item.
Leave the pumpkin spice to the things that actually make sense, such as baked goods and breakfast items.
