A morbid view of the recession and life

Donna P. Crilly

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What happens when eighteen to twenty-something year-old students mix the economy, politics, school, bills, “boozin'” and sex?

In some cases, you get sexual entrepreneurs who capitalize on nice smiles and tight bodies, leaving the mass rank and filers to compete for the scarce amount of “outliers,” that is to say, the “hard-to-gets” or the “rolly” back-pack types, or those who rationalize the opportunity cost of substituting groceries for cheap beer.

I can’t deny that I’ve spent my last five dollars on cigarettes instead of lunch before but sacrifices must be made. Resources are scarce, people!

Just like so many overly, and perfectly qualified people are vying for the same minimum wage jobs these days, we’re going to see more and more able-bodied people applying for the same sexual positions.

You’ll check the status of your application only to find that it was changed from “single” to “in a relationship with.” or “it’s complicated.”

We’ve got to lower our standards and take what’s available. If I have to settle for the pointy-booted, blazer and bandana wearing guy who leaves his aviator sunglasses on the entire indoor class session, so be it.

I recently met a guy with what seemed to be a great stimulus “package” but due to inflation, I got more berries and less juice.

I also got an “I.O.U.” on a date a couple of months ago, which made me want a refund. I’m still waiting on it.

One question I’ve been asking myself lately is whether the thousands of miles I’ve driven my ex-boyfriend from point A to point Z is tax deductible.

It really wasn’t work related but technically, it was because I had to work to afford the gas I used to drive him around. I should have kept a log of the mileage to use for a paid-out.

I’m sure I’m not the only one thinking about my personal life in economical terms. There are many of us pursuing extra money and are finding interesting ways to get it and use it.

Thousands of students get their money from loans; some of whom spend their thousands on hard lemon-aid.

Some are part of self-interest groups lobbying for parents to support the “pay my credit card bill, I didn’t know what ‘put it on my tab’ really meant” cause.

Recently, I’ve seen more and more Craigslist ads where people, who are desperate for cash, sell their possessions for a lot less than what they are really worth to be able to afford gas for a weekend trip to Big Bear Mountain.

If you’re like me, you’ve probably returned some of your more expensive textbooks to fund certain aspects life closely affiliated to the boozin’ category; however, I believe that my decisions are made with good reasoning:

The yearly trend I have in regards to the number of pages read in a given textbook compared to the satisfactory level of my leisurely pursuits are directly proportional to each other.

As the number of pages read in a given textbook decreases, my leisurely satisfactory level increases.

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