Wake up, school, home, work, sleep. Then, do it again the next day. And the next. That was Diego Del A O’s typical routine; bouncing from work to school to home. 

There was something missing: a place to socialize. 

“I just got so burnt out, especially with me,” Del A O said. “I do suffer from mental illnesses like depression and OCD. Once you start getting burnt out, once you start getting tired, it worsens everything.”

Ray Oldenburg coined the term ‘third place’ in his book “The Great Good Place.” Third place is a phrase that describes a physical location where people gather and connect.

“The phrase ‘third places’ derives from considering our homes to be the ‘first’ places in our lives, and our workplaces [and school] the ‘second,'” Oldenburg said.

In a world that has turned increasingly digital, third places offer a physical location where everyone can make face-to-face connections, according to multiple researchers. 

In the article, Offline Oasis: Why teens need non-digital third spaces, social worker Allison Ochs describes the consequences of people treating the internet as their new place of gathering.

“Digital platforms cannot replace the essence of shared physical experiences, spontaneous encounters, and sensory engagement with the environment,” Oschs writes. “Further, digital networks are so integrated with our first and second spaces that using them as third spaces can’t provide a true escape.” 

As far back as a decade, students have increasingly transitioned their time to spend it online as a form of social interaction, according to Pewresearch.org.

Spending time socializing on the internet falls short of allowing someone to develop social cues, limiting the ability to have real conversations and make connections.

“If people are staying in social media, they’re not really connecting with each other properly,” Del A O says. “We really need to be able to talk with each other (in person), especially in this day and age where everything is that online, that’s what’s really needed; communication.”

The COVID pandemic, with its social distancing regulations and remote learning mandates, pushed third spaces to the digital realm. The lack of connection between us contributed to post-pandemic social anxiety.

The loss of this third place is a reality for many students that leads to anxiety and prioritization towards online spaces, including Del A O.

“You still see people with masks, whether they are sick or trying to prevent it. But even then, they’re still trying to go out and socialize.” Del A O said.

Despite this trend toward digitization, there are communities working to keep physical third places alive.

San Diego has a niche for house shows, a place for bands and people to jam out to all different types of genres; hardcore, indie and more.

To break from his mundane routine, Del A O frequents these shows to find like-minded people.

“It is a place where, in a local area, people get to come down to socialize, play their music or listen, dance or mosh, all that is very important for humans to be able to do together,” Del A O explains.

Meeting people that share similar interests allow for relationships to form despite different backgrounds.

These house shows allow for deeper connections not only between the listeners but between the audience and the performers.

“I think that it’s important for all of us to be able to relate to somebody, especially in times when we don’t feel well or feel alone,” Del A O said.

The people who show up to these shows come from many different backgrounds, no one person is usually the same. In these third places, people usually encounter others they wouldn’t normally see at school or work, Del A O added.

“At the end of the day, it’s all people in agreement, feeling these feelings at one place they wouldn’t normally be able to at home or something,” Del A O said.

House shows are one of the many examples of potential third places. 

Others include coffee shops, bookstores, farmers and flea markets and more throughout all of San Diego. Social media accounts highlight niche events like zine fests, live shows and markets.

Despite all of these options, Diego believes it’s hard to find third places.

“If you don’t know where to look, you probably won’t have the information to go out,” Del A O said.

When he put the time and effort in looking, Del A O’s search resulted in a welcomed addition to his monotonous schedule.